Memories of Bill and Anna Mae Fuller

2012

 
If you would like to share any memories or photo please email memories@lifeeverafter.com  and I will post them here.
 
7:41 am awake and wondering what the new year will bring. Guess what. It brings nothing. You have to get it. Last night I opened my bottle of Jim Beam. Decide I was going to have a New Year’s toast. UGH sorry but I lost my taste for whiskey after 28 years. I couldn’t even finish the drink. Guess that is a good thing huh? Drinking is not the answer to our problems anyway. I wasn’t using it to find an answer. I wanted to just …. I have no idea what I wanted to do.
Lazarus, Terry and Mary were here but in their rooms. I watched the ball drop alone. This morning I am sitting here alone. They are all still asleep. Oh yea, Amanda texted me Happy New Year. She is something. I am glad I met her. I am glad that she came to the shop for her externship. Glad that she wants to be a partner in the business. Someone has to look out for Albe. (lol)
Happy New Year Mom and Dad.
 

---------------------------------------------------------- 
January 17, 2012
Found out today that Pim passed away. Hope he found you easy enough. I prepared a place for him here at Life Ever After  and sent some flowers from us.
I will go with Aunt Olive and Shirley to the funeral home on Thursday and the funeral on Friday.
 
Jan 18, 2012
Stopped by the cemetery on the way to Olive's house. Took this picture and left daddy's token. Looks like I have to replace your solar lights, three of them don't light anymore. The dragonfly still flutters and glows though.
I miss you both.

---------------------------------------------------------- 
Jan. 20, 2012
Just back from Ohio. It was wonderful to see cousins and meet great cousins and their children. I am glad Daisy has her boys and their wives to be with her at this time.
She commented that "Pim looked so young". Well, he is younger than her.  The funeral was done very well and the military honors brought tears to my eyes. My batteries died in my camera so I didn't get any photos of the VFW or the ceremony.
Daisy asked me if I would read the poem "The Dash". I thought I was going to screw it up, but three people came up to me and said that was a nice poem. I told them how the minister read it at daddy's and then John read it at yours. I was honored to read it for Pim.
I love you mom and dad. Glad to be home.

----------------------------------------------------------
Olive found this picture on Ancestory.com and I had never seen it, so thought of posting it here.
Its you and Lois. That's your house in the background.
 

---------------------------------------------------------- 
January 25, 2012
At  12:01 a m I got a text message from my bank telling me that my social security check had been deposited.  So I guess I am officially on Social Security. When I signed up the letter said I would receive $535.00 a month starting January 2012. Well I got $555.00 and that was a surprise.  I got it figured out I will get $19,980.00 before I sign up for Medicare. That is a good piece of change. I know daddy, don't count my chickens before they hatch, but.... this is a bird in the hand. Expected and received if the government doesn't go broke and stop sending out checks.  I will not spend it foolishly.
Love you both.

---------------------------------------------------------- 
Feb. 1, 2012
I need your guidance today. When others are saying their lives are falling apart, I seem to be doing ok. But mentally I am screwed. If depression is a state of mind, I want to move to another state. I know there is a time in a child's life when they stop being a child and become an adult. But when? And how does the parent let go?  And when they do let go, how do they cope with the child not doing what they think they should do? I know daddy, just let them fall, they will pick themselves up. But what if they don't? How do you stand by and watch?  We all want better for our children and grandchildren than what we had, but I sometime think our idea of better is not better.

Well today my 3 grown children are going to see a changed me.  I hope they can pick themselves up when they fall.
 

---------------------------------------------------------- 
 

Feb 5, 2012
Mary and I stopped out to the cemetery today. Brought a new solar light and a butterfly with 3 color solar light. Ground still too hard to plant anything. Left daddy's token.

 
Feb. 14, 2012
Came home yesterday from my little Road Trip.  It was good to see the kids. Today we went to Ponderosa for a Valentine's day meal.
I see a bonding between Lei Ann and Mary. Albe is doing good at the shop.  Get the car inspected and I can go again.

---------------------------------------------------------- 
Feb 24, 2012
Took Mary and Jamlet to Albany, NY. Left at 6am and got back 24 hours and 10 minutes later. No, I won't do that again. Its too much. When I go to pick them up I am leaving on Thursday, sleeping there and then driving back on Friday. Maybe take Jalita with me. I think she would like that.

---------------------------------------------------------- 
Feb. 26, 2012
Tomorrow it will be  EIGHT YEARS since you left this Earth. Every year I have posted something in the Times News. I thought about it this year and realized no one gets the paper anymore. And Times News is getting expensive. Probably because costs are going up and no one pays for the paper anymore.  I just couldn't see spending money on something that we wouldn't see anyway. I will go out to the cemetery and give you your token and leave some flowers. I love you daddy and do miss you, but I feel your presence most every day. Thank you for looking out for me.

---------------------------------------------------------- 
2/27/12

 Daddy, wishing you and Mom celebrate your birthday like you did each year in Arizona. I miss you both. Thank you for all your love.

---------------------------------------------------------- 
Stopped and left daddy's token and put some colorful flowers until I can come plant some when the weather gets better.
 
Feb 29, 2012
Today I received a call that Pearl had passed away. Hope she found you and Paul easy enough. I added her to Paul's page, but I won't be able to attend the funeral. Its only for one day and I will be  in Albany NY. I hope she will join you all at Dunn Valley. I will see her then.
 

---------------------------------------------------------- 
March 2, 2012
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. I am in Albany NY with Jalita and Mary and Jamlet. There is snow on the ground. Today is Pearl's funeral service. I don't know if I will make it back or not. She is only being shown once. Its a long drive.

---------------------------------------------------------- 

March 14, 2012
Saw today that Times News had listed Mike Millspaw's obituary. He was only 63. I guess he didn't recover from his accident with the tractor, although Bill said he was coming home on the weekends. I haven't seen Bill much this winter, I feel for him and his family.  Tonight I am watching  American Idol  and I remember our ritual every year. I even printed out the sheet so I can check off who stays and who goes home. Nope mom, there is no Taylor this year.  I miss you so much.

---------------------------------------------------------- 

March 17, 2012

Well its here mom. St. Patrick's Day.
 The day you decided to go to Aunt Shirley's with Aunt Olive. Its great that you were getting out and geocaching because I know you liked it so much. I wish I could have taken you more. I SHOULD have taken you more. No one knew that a street sweeper would be working on that road.

 
Why wasn't he out celebrating the holiday?  Well, they say everything happens for a reason. I HATE this and what possible reason could there have been. I guess you were ready to go anyway. You outlived daddy by six years. That was probably a lonely time for you. I know, I have been so lonely since you left. Yes, I have children and work and friends (right) but no one can take your place. I bet you thought that about daddy. I miss you mom.
Just keep watching over me, I'll see you when I get there.

 

---------------------------------------------------------- 

Two years ago, I sat with my mom and held her hand as the life left her. She had so many broken bones and she knew that even if she survived she wouldn't be the same. She told all of us goodbye. She said don't cry. She got mad at me because I was sad. She waved goodbye to everyone that was there. The doctor talked to all of us and told us what to expect. I was in denial. I thought she would last a week or so because my dad did. As I sat there holding her hand, the nurse came in and said it won't be long now. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. No its not fair. I want my mom. But I didn't want her to suffer and I knew she would be with my dad and that would make her happy. So I said goodbye.
Ten minutes to three in the morning (3/19/10) my mom left this world.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I miss you mom

----------------------------------------------------------  

 

 Stopped at the cemetery, brought a blue butterfly, a silver solar light, some St. Patrick Day flowers and left daddy's token.

There's some green leaves growing but can't tell what flower it is. I know they aren't weeds.

---------------------------------------------------------- 

 
 

March 23, 2012
I want to think about the good things and what my life is meant to be. All I can think of is two years ago I stood at the grave of my father and watched them put my mother in the ground. At that time I felt peace because I knew this is where she wanted to be and they were finally together again. I walked from their gravesite to my grandparents across the street, my dad's mother Celia Fuller who passed away March 23, 1990 and left some flowers for her and my grandfather Perry Fuller.  If God had a plan, I couldn't see it, I just believed it. Today I look back over the past two years and I feel grief. I feel disappointment in myself that I could have done more or should have done more.  I know my mom didn't want me to go on so, and she's told me so very often, but the thought that her voice is in my head only proves my point. Why would she still be here if she didn't think I couldn't take care of myself? I totally screwed up my kids lives (her words). And although I feel comfort in knowing that my family is still with me in spirit, it hurts. My daughter Lei Ann had a better relationship with my mom than I did.

Just wanted to say I love you Mom.

 

Went to the cemetery, the flowers I put for St. Patrick's day are still pretty fresh, I added some new ones and took some across the street.
for Grandpa and Grandma and some for Paul.

---------------------------------------------------------- 

 

3/24/12
Celebrated Albe's 22nd birthday at work and Mary and Lei Ann and the kids came. Lei Ann brought a cake.  Photos

---------------------------------------------------------- 

 
 
 

Hey Mom and Dad

I cooked today.

HAM Baked beans corn biscuits mac and cheese mashed potatoes
 

and Easter baskets for the family
Miss you both so very much..

---------------------------------------------------------- 

 

Every year it takes a couple months to get all the leaves and trash picked up in the yard. Then there's the tune up of the lawnmowers. So I decided to hire a professional to do it this year. Here's photos
 
 

---------------------------------------------------------- 

 

April 17th
Nice day today, so Mary and I went to the cemetery.

Mary brightened up the flowers on the stone. I left your wooden nameplate that you had on your mailbox at home. And left daddy's token. Then we went across the street.
 

 Then we took a drive down to see if anything was being done with the property. Mary took these pictures. Looks like they are getting read to build.
Sam Walker is still there.    
    I see the garage is still there.
mounds of dirt on the hill   looks like they are making a driveway, a wide one.
 

I am happy that the land is being used instead of just sitting there.  It is a home for three children that will experience all the fun times I had as a child. More, because I am told they have horses.
 

----------------------------------------------------------  

4/19/12
Spent the day with my wonderful Aunt Olive. We went to the cemetery and she fixed  your gravesite, we went to Lowe's and I bought flowers and Miracle Grow top soil and she planted them
It looks so beautiful. I thank God for my family.  My van stopped working for some reason. Just the other day I bought a new battery. Now what?? Olive said she would get John to look at it.
Olive removed the grass and topsoil added Miracle Grow She used your garden tool kit.
Flowers in the front are Candy Stripe Creeping Phlox This side is Dianthus (its an annual)

from left to right are Blue Moon Viola, Margarita African Daisy, Ballerina Red Ameria and Margarita African Daisy.

We went to Olive's and she made us some dinner. We walked over to Cousin John's and he looked at my van.
 Oh yea he got it started. The cable was loose. Duhh, Thanks John, you always come to my rescue.
On my way home I stopped and your gravesite looked so beautiful with the lights.Dragonfly blinks red, white and Butterfly blinks blue and green,There's 3 solar energy lights that illuminates the whole headstone.
So beautiful.

----------------------------------------------------------  
 
Awaiting the snow that the weatherman predicts.
Olive suggested we cover up the plants, so I took one of your flat sheets from the basement.
Hey Daddy, have to laugh, the streets dept put the plows back on the trucks. Monday they were suppose to start fixing potholes, now they anticipate shoveling snow.

PSss No snow to speak of.

----------------------------------------------------------  

 

May 1, 2012
Not a good day for me.  I had an appointment with the ReAssessment for the property taxes. No, they wouldn't consider what I was talking about. The guy that I got stuck talking to said "too bad"
suggested that I add the three lots to my house. Now why would I want to do that? He also said that there were a lot of cheap small lots in the city of Erie that were around 200 and they raised them to 4900. I know what they are doing, they are TRYING to recoup the tax money they THOUGHT they were getting from Joyce's failed Business park.  Only thing is, we aint got no money.
But I did talk to someone about KOZ and maybe I would be eligible. we'll see.
Love you both.

----------------------------------------------------------  

 

Took the girls and grandkids to the Zoo. I think they had a good time.   Pictures

----------------------------------------------------------  
 

May 13, 2012

 
 

----------------------------------------------------------  

 
 
Main Page